Updated: Jan 15, 2021
Having Confidence Makes You Sexier!
The way you walk, the way you gesture, your facial expression, your smile and your voice are just a few of the things that encompass what the rest of the world initially sees.
What I’ve found is that men value this a lot more than women and women tend to underestimate the importance of this. A lot of the time women are too busy thinking about the way they look, the way they dress and what type of men are around, that they forget all about their body language. If only these women knew the amount of men that I’ve spoken to who've experienced the following situation: They see as stunningly beautiful woman and they cannot peel their eyes away from her... but then they see her move … she walks around with a slouch and all her energy points towards the ground! Or they speak and her words are harsh and crude (cursing). Suddenly that woman becomes unattractive. Her physical features have not changed but the man’s perception has done a complete U-turn, simply because the girl looks unconfident, the way she speaks is nasty and she doesn’t own her presence.
The advice I’m about to give doesn’t just apply to women, it applies to EVERYONE!
1) Hold yourself the right way.
When you walk around, one of the most attractive things you can do is carry yourself right. Keep your shoulders pointed back and push your chest up, (as if a string was pulling your chest from above). Maintaining a strong frame communicates to other sub-concious that you are a woman to be taken seriously.
2) Don’t be afraid to gesture when you talk.
Standing there all rigid isn’t going to get you the attention of any interesting or affluent! Be fluid with your hand movements. It shows power and confidence. Open palm gestures are better over ‘closed palm gestures’, simply because they’re more welcoming, and that is what you want. You want to be approachable.
3) Stop crossing your arms.
This is something I learned from the age of 16 when my mentor pointed out to me how defensive I look when I cross your arms. People often cross their arms when they are angry or hurt or defensive: they come off cold and closed. I understand that sometimes, when we are in a stressful or uncomfortable environments, we cross our arms,( and often we do it subconsciously) but I want you to become more aware of your body. Try to notice those moments when you cross your arms and stop! Practice makes perfect.
4) Eye contact is so important.
It’s a nervous sign when you can't look someone in the eye. Just Relax! … If you find yourself in a tense situation, a really great thing to do is to breathe slower. Shifting your breathing to a more controlled and slower level will immediately relax you. Eye contact can ensure that someone is paying attention and listening to you. It commands attention and screams confidence when you can hold eye contact while having a conversation or listening to someone. When speaking to more than one person, alternating eye-contact with each of them is also powerful. Even when flirting, eye-contact can do most of the talking for you.
Using these tips, in one brief moment, I have shaped their perception of me to my advantage. You won’t believe how many times this has helped me stand out to a potential mentor/boss/interviewer, before I’ve even spoken directly to them.
BODY LANGUAGE IS SO IMPORTANT
At the beginning of the interaction you want to have a fun, energetic and present an exciting persona. If you are single woman, what you want is for men to be approaching you. If you are a business person and you are networking at an event, again, you want people to be approaching you. So approachable body language plays a key part at the beginning of this type of social interaction.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is just up to you…. No, no, no! This is up to you and your friends or team mates or whoever you keep in your company.
For example, you’re out in the city and the night is thriving. You and your friends have stumbled upon the perfect spot that is just flooded with potential. Now if you and your acquaintances are all standing close together facing each other in a near circle-like formation, you have immediately made it very difficult for anyone to come over to you! What you want is to have your associates standing side by side, similar to a V- Formation (this is perfect for smaller groups). This way you can still have a conversation with your company, while making it open and easy for someone to join the interaction. Even better, at the same time you can be scanning the room to find your next interest.
Do this and you will find a lot more people will approach you. Ladies, never forget that one of the hardest things a gentleman can do is approach a beautiful woman when she is out with her friends. Not only does he have to walk all the way over, interrupt your conversation, risk being rejected or even laughed at, and then have to do the potential walk of shame back to his friends/affiliates. So it’s your job to make it as easy as possible for people to approach you.
As you move through the conversation, don’t be afraid to slow things down. Especially if you are trying to secure that next date or interview. You want to slow things down a bit and make the interaction a bit more personal. Slow down your gestures, if you are drinking something, increase the time it takes for the glass to meet your soft lips. If you're explaining something, elaborate. Make more eye contact. Be soft with your expressions and don’t be afraid to ask them questions.
Try these steps in your everyday life and you will soon notice they will become an integral part of your physical essence. The more you practice, the better you get and it won’t be long before people look at you and immediately percieve tha you are a high value, confident person.
Tips To Instantly Appear More Confident & Sexy
Dress and look your best as often as you can regardless of the pressure from your friends and peers. Personal grooming and lifestyle appearance provide an instantaneous projection on the surface of how you feel inside about yourself.
Smile and respond with a simple, courteous “thank you” whenever someone pays you a compliment for any reason. No one likes a snob. You're never too good to acknowledge someone acknowledging your excellence.
Set your own internal standards rather than comparing yourself to others. Keep upgrading your own standards in lifestyle, behaviour, professional accomplishment, relationships, etc. You should always be aiming to be a better version of YOURSELF.
Use encouraging, affirmative language when you talk to yourself and to others about yourself. Focus on uplifting and building adjectives and adverbs. Everything you say about yourself is subconsciously being recorded by others and, more importantly, by your own self-image. Until you let them KNOW, people can only assume as to who you are off your appearance and presentation of yourself. If you're ever able to introduce yourself, you're introducing them to greatness.
Less is more. The loudest person in the room isn't always the smartest. Talking TOO much about yourself or anything else can be a major turn off. Maintaining some mystery, remaining poised, upright posture and coolness to your presence can boost your appearance of confidence more than you knew. I'm not saying be a mute in the name of appearing sexy, but knowing when to stfu can be even sexier.
Build yourself up again, as many times as you need to, even when it feels like you are starting over. Self-love, vibrations and energy is just as important as sleep, water and nutrition. Channel your highest self-regard before bed. Just a little reminder: when you’re struggling with a difficult situation, the best thing you can do is INSIST on championing yourself. Do not compromise. Do not falter. You are special.